Saturday, November 12, 2016

"Fall" of the Empire: Trump Drunk, Autumn 2016




CokeHeadLines: "Donald Trump's Former Transition Director, NJ's Chris Christie, Worried Upon Noticing State Prison Installed Accommodating Door for Him to Enter, but None To Leave, Uses Hand to Indicate 'Five Years' as Time It'll Take to Install Portal for Release According to 'Exist' Polls"



Brooklyn Days:  I remember one weepy, emo mobster who'd cry after each time he whacked somebody.  He was eventually arrested for "racket tearing."





Given my age, the "I've fallen-and-I-can't-get-up" fear is in full bloom  Nevertheless, I'm going to face my fears and head out on my morning walk without my cellphone.  Wish me luck.

Euphemism:  "Advanced Age"  When people use the euphemism "advanced age" to identify us over-65 people, I'm guessing they're referring to the stages of the increased number of afflictions I now suffer.  I'm old, and there's nothing "advanced" about it.

I can't stand dining rooms' pride, and bedrooms' prejudices.  But, mostly, I hate bathroom vanities.

One motivation that drives Major League Baseball players to make it to the big leagues is having ball-boy servants, unlike my stickball days retrieving a pink, rubber Spalding for a block-and-a-half in traffic.

NASA scientists have downgraded the newly discovered nearby planet Proxima B from "habitable" to "inhospitable" upon learning Donald Trump's plans to open a hotel and golf course there.



Trump must have received a copy of the Kama Sutra recently.  Otherwise, how else could he find a new position everyday to fuck us with.




 'Paid a small fortune for a magical mantra guaranteed to attract "all."  The next day a carton of laundry detergent came in the mail.  That mantra really did turn the Tide.







The Bernie Man




Trump denies climate change because he has a habit of refusing to believe the poles.
HEAR "Drunken Trump # 1": 

I never had a problem turning on lamps; it was the women I had trouble with.

This woman's Uranus is out of place.




Men Protest Trend of Women Going au Natural Calling Retro Practice a "Pubic Nuisance"







I could have gone to the gym election day to workout and run, but I decided, instead, to leisurely lift a frappuccino, stroll to the polls, and exercise my right to vote.

I think I see where's he's going with this.


Since Planes and Boats Lost in Bermuda Triangle, Authorities Now Checking Missing Persons for Men.


Sept 10: "Heinz Recalls Baby Food after Choking Incident"  Tragedy of choking aside, giving a baby prunes is one surefire way for parents to forever recall that baby food.

Hearing sportscasters' and fans' mantra, "Nice scoop by Teixeira" everyday for years, the retired New York Yankees first baseman will work at Baskin Robbins.


Back when I was buff, I dated a girl who was obsessed with body builders.  At restaurants she’d order cioppino every time.  I asked her, “Do you like cioppino because of all the mussels? “  “No,” she said.  “I like the crab, clams, and shrimp, mostly.” I said, “Now, your just being shellfish.”

Before his Black Fish movie fame, Tilikum turned down the lead role that Disney offered him in a story of a punk rock fish in a movie titled Finding Emo.



While T-Rump sniveled, snorted, and sniffed with the drug problem no one wants to address, Hillary's V.P. choice was an energizing, healthful dose of CO-KANE.



They say, "An elephant never forgets."  I guess this guy remembers every time he's jerked off.

Decades later, I'm happier than ever that my mom won $27,000 from Donald Trump at his Atlantic City casino slots.  She gave each of her three children $9,000. Fuck you, T-Rump.  Some of that windfall went for donations to Hillary Clinton.



Many of Trump's supporters held firm in their belief that Donald would win the election.  They believed he could pull a rabbit out of a hat, but most of us knew the belief was just based on his slight of hand.



In October, Trump's sudden drop in the polls prompted him to vow that within days he'd be as close behind Hillary as he was during the second debate.




CokeHeadLines: "Putin Tricks Trump Promising to Show Positive Numbers in Dictator's Gallup Poll, but Only Offers Candidate Chance to Closely Measure the Russian's 'Gallop Pole.'"






I think this is a kind of "Mickey Mouse" idea.  Scientists trying to make Pluto psychedelic are only going to make it Goofy.



CokeHeadLines:  "Regis Philbin Releases Video Tape of Failed 1998 Audition of Donald Trump Who Had Asked to Be a Contestant"




"Just let him ever think about grabbing me!"

Preparing for Trump's first visit to the White House, Obama staffers felt compelled to post this sign along the entrance road.




                

Even trophy women are rejecting Trump.






'Turns out Trump's Alt-Reich, brain-dead, racist, goose-step haters are the real deceased voters he himself had complained about in this election.  Here they are screaming vows to make sure the rest of us living join them

Ever since I started taking ace inhibitors, I never win at blackjack.


Even when Trump looks women in the eye, this is all he sees.



ENJOY: "Little Trumpet Boy": 




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